Someone

I want to be a stranger
To someone I don't know

I want to be a fool
To someone I can't trust

I want to be a mirror
To someone I don't see

I want to be a colour
To someone I can't paint

I want to be the thirst
To someone I can't fill

I want to be the air
To someone who can't feel

I want to be the road
To someone I can't lead

I want to be a hope
To someone I can't save

I want to be myself
To someone who can't be me

I want to be the start
To someone I can't end

IN MY

In my silence
I hear your voice

In my darkness
I see your light

In my sleep
I see your dreams

In my loneliness
I see your fullness

In my cry
I see your joy

In my anger
I see your patience

In my paleness
I see your colour

In my weakness
I see your strength

In my need
I see your want

In my hatred
I see your Love

A Lesson from Antarctica

A random surfing of channels made me to stop on one. It was not usual for me to hook up on a particular channel, but something made me to stay on it. It was a documentary called the “Planet Earth” which was showcasing about the penguins in the southern hemisphere. At first it sounded to be a normal documentary, but as it progressed along, it invoked a chain of thoughts about being a parent. Trust me, after seeing the documentary about the penguins, I was disturbed.

We are humans, the intelligent creation of God. But is this intelligence has made us so careless!!...this is what struck me after watching the documentary. Antarctica is a place where sunlight is available only for few months. This is the time when the penguins mate. At the end of the spring, when the sunlight starts dwindling on the horizon, the female penguin lays an egg at the shore and is fully exhausted by the mating process. As a bird, the female penguin is expected to incubate the egg and take care of it till the hatching. But here, something very weird happens. This is something which is contradictory to the life cycle of a bird. As soon as the female penguin lays the egg, the famished and exhausted female transfers the egg to the male penguin and leaves for the ocean. I was taken back. How come a mother can do this!!!... But this move of the female penguin has different purpose to fulfill. This process on the dwindling sunlight gives a light on being a parent.

After, the female has left for the ocean; the males form a group (rookery) and start moving towards the land. The temperature is 75° below 0. There are no winds in Antarctica but gust of snow and darkness. This is the testing time for the penguins. It was shocking and amazing to watch these birds making their way through the gust with the egg safely tucked warm under the belly and between their feet. It was a sight of sheer determination and an effort shown by each bird of the rookery. Facing the speeding winds and the hostile temperatures, they huddle together. But as it said, the salvation looms over the horizon, the sunlight again makes it presence felt and the testing time for the male and the female penguins are over. The young one, not knowing the hardships breaks out the shell and come out. At the same time, the female penguin, each with a unique call for her male comes searching. Their ordeal of months in ocean ends when they see the young ones and gets them under their care. The young ones and the males who are starved for months are then fed by the female, whose stomach is full with fish and squid.

Some chicks are not fortunate. Their mothers couldn’t stand the ordeal. They probably must have been hunted or gave up to the hostile conditions. But this doesn’t make the chick orphan. There is a fight between other females to adopt these chicks into their family. This where I felt ashamed of being a human for the first time. There are nearly 25 million orphans in India and millions across the world. Most of them rejected at birth, some being tested positive for HIV or any other disabilities, some of them: outcome of illicit relationships. There are very few of them, who have become orphans due to the natural causes (natural disasters, accidents). Whenever, I came across a news article of a new born being dumped in the garbage bins or left at the doors of the orphanage, it did not have an impact on me as it had yesterday after seeing this amazing life. Orphaning is not only the problem; adoption is also a big issue. If a penguin can fight with the other female penguin to nurse the orphan chick, then why we humans, fear and hesitate from adopting an orphan (I accept that it is not practical). Why do we see an orphan as a recluse and a social outcast? We do sometimes…ohhh…not sometimes, but always, forget that somewhere in this social circle we too are responsible for these innocent to remain orphans and to be treated as recluse. It is we who develop these double standards and affect the entire society. Sex was gifted to man by the nature to celebrate the relationship and make it more strong and valuable. But we see the other aspects of it. We use it as a stress buster, enjoyment, an activity which happens out of excitement (without proper measures being taken) under the influence of drugs, alcohol, etc. and a process to produce more orphans.

Let’s try to put an end to this. It is hard practically, but we can try. Next time, when you plan to make out with your partner, imagine the outcomes. Whenever, you come across an orphan, don’t treat him as an outcast. If you can’t do anything for the innocent one, don’t bother to look at him and raise a hope in the little brains. If you can’t adopt, I know again, it is not quite practical, at least remember these innocents on your special occasions. You can spend a saving on throwing parties on your anniversaries and birthdays, but it does not cost a fortune to sponsor an orphan with education and a better life or a one time meal to an orphanage. Next time when encountered by an orphan, please don’t neglect, smile, it would fill his/her dark life with light for a moment. Remember, THE SALVATION LIES WITHIN AND LOOMS OVER THE HORIZON!!!!

Home

Home...for me has a different meaning altogether. Back in India (sad to use this), I never felt the importance of home. It was just another place where I could stay. But the very walk into the departure terminal of Mumbai airport and gates closing behind me, fired a series of feelings which after 8 months took a shape. I was quite excited about my new beginning here..

But today, those feelings are very clear to me and moist my eyes. Every morning I wake up to see that I dont have my beloved mommy preparing breakfast for me...nor I have a reassuring sight of my daddy. Its been ages where I have almost forgot what breakfast looks like and tastes like....

Here I have all the comforts I can have, but what I dont have is the warm feeling of my beloved home. This is a country where everything you do is accepted. But still I walk with a fear somewhere hidden deep inside my heart. Back in India, we have to think of everystep we take, as we are bound to the customs and traditions.But these things seem more than a freedom to me as I always thought....am I really free to do anything in India....I was wrong....I was free.
Here I have a class life...but i want to be back to the same crowed trains and those humble B.E.S.T buses compared to the Merseyrail and ARRIVA bus services...

Here I have the best cuisines I can have, but not the love which is a secret potion which my mum mixes with every dish. I seriously miss the junk food which I thought it was so low to eat and unhealthy.

Evenings...ahhh....it used to be exciting every evening for me in India...going down and biking around Nerul...sipping cutting chai...chit chatting...bird watching (here too..all the way)...coming home and having dinner. Here every evening is dull. Its the same house and same routine to follow. If it comes to hanging around with friends...it would be at anyone's house and doing the same stuff again and again to which our lives are limited to.

Every time I call India...the voices on the other side are so clear..(thanks to the technology)....I wish I could feel them and touch them..Back then, the phone call was just to ask who,where, how and when...now its a lifeline...I feel that I am alive....

All I want is...I want to talk to that crazy lad, eight months back. I wish I could tell him about what he is going to miss out of the excitement of staying abroad. I have the privilege to experience one of the soothing climates on earth. I had felt the climate back at home as harsh but i want to feel it. I want to stand at the Appolo bunder and feel the salty winds on my face...I want to see the beautiful sunset at the Palm beach marg....i want to smell the dust....

When I discuss my plans about me going back home...my friends laugh at me...saying that "you are a fool to leave such a life..".But they will never understand...a heart of a true Mumbaikar...Some of them even caution me...saying that would you be able to cope up with the weather and the changes that have taken place in this time....I don't have an answer 'cause I am dead sure that no one feels uncomfortable in mother's lap....

People say that the grass on the other side is always green. I want to add some more to it. I do accept that it is greener, but at the same time, it is difficult as here to mow it.
Know the importance of your home...sometime or the other you would regret.....

Commitments.

I am back. But I am too disappointed, the way I am back and what I am writing now.

What does a relationship takes to be a successful one...well I haven't figured it out yet, though going through an intense one...may be some day in my life I would surely get it or by the end of this post.

Its so sad sitting at the end of a beautiful relation I had. Yes, today after 4 months and a week, you may feel that it's only four months and why is this guy behaving like a typical Bloke...These four months got my life out of the hidden box which was buried very deep within my dark heart. People who are really close to me when I was back In India and now here have seen that change in me. It has come to a tragic end. My friends who have already gone through this would say, "Welcome to the club".

I have heard my stories about the relationships getting ended due to many reasons..some were very silly though. I have also read about some who kept the fire burning..I took care of all these things, so that I would be successful in mine...But could not.
When I got it confirmed that we can no more be together in this morning, I was at the very shocking moment of my life. I went numb and was hard to see. I learned that it was the "time", we couldn't give each other (due to the professional commitments). But aren't there other couples who are not tied to these commitments?It seems to be another story, but this true. I lost, due to the lack of time.

Wise people say that time is a good healer and a teacher. But for me time had always been a competitor. Many times I took the lead and laughed at it. But what I did not realise is that time was full of grace as God is time (I am the alpha and the Omega, Revelations Chapter1, Verse 8, King James Version). I was arrogant. Now it has hit me hard. Now when I sit and speak to God, He simply laughs at my plans.

I tried to work out many things to overcome the professional commitments, but then, the personal commitments are more stronger. I had to give up and accept the fact that it is the end.
Relations are not just held by being sweet and caring. It needs devotion, a proper one. Understanding in a relationship is mostly misunderstood by most of us. We think that having similar dislikes and likes and comprising some of your likes and dislikes for your partner is a true understanding. Understanding is a need. We have to sense and know what the other soul is accepting from us, and how we should deliver them.

Well putting some more light onto it from numb heart and mind, I feel that relationship is like running a marathon. An athlete would know better.It needs commitment. Commitment is a belief in relationship permanence and the understanding that at times your union will need a life-jacket to stay afloat.Commitment is a very personal process. Unfortunately, for some it will mean blind dedication to a union that rarely meets their needs; while others eschew commitment and impulsively use the ebb and flow of happiness as the gauge whether to stay or leave. Both of these approaches are flawed. Ideally, commitment will remain in place as happiness comes and goes and your relationship finds its footing along life's shifting terrain.

One of the greatest challenges to commitment lies in the instant-gratification mindset--the idea that I deserve to have what I want when I want it. The settings to our pleasure barometer have been altered and humans are less willing to deal with frustrating circumstances or anything that feels like it stands in the way of immediate happiness. This poses a problem for relationships.

Therefore when decisions are made about relationship based solely on the need to feel happy (all the time), commitment is abandoned along with the rich opportunities that are essential for a relationship to grow thereby terminating the life of a relationship.

So, friends and whoever would read this blog, and in case, if you are in a relationship, please have a commitment to what you are looking from your relationship. Do not go for a sweet talks, cute things and sideline the pale word commitment. You would never know the fruits of the true commitments. You could criticize me for not following these sutras..you are right...You don't realize till you experience it.I have faced it.

This what I realized.....may more yet to come in near future......

What a Mighty fall

Australia, Manchester United...what do they have in common....
Winning streak, champions, great team........arrogance,attitude, unruly pride...
Well narrowing down more on this....both were kicked out without any mercy.
What would be the best example. Well this would the T20 world cup match and the UEFA cup final.
Australia were and are known to be the worlds best team and had everyone follow them. They boasted to have the best players and probably the best management. But this very pride and arrogance of being the best without any modesty made them to pack their bags and prepare for the Ashes. They had an experience when India had cut their winning streak and also England bashing them up to regain their ashes. From the first match, it was evident from all the team mates that they could easily surpass the West Indies players, who later showed them who's got a experience in cricket [Not to forget that cricket is a lifeline in the Caribbeans]. Today the Lankan Lions held their ground and devoured the kangaroos. They held their head high.

Manchester United. How can a ManU, as it is called, fan can forget the humiliating defeat it suffered at the hands of Barcelona. ManU played the UEFA cup final, which is known to be the coveted cup as it decides the European Champions, with its full team. Where as the Barca played with its rounded up squad. No one actually were confident about them. The betting companies across the Europe made fortunes as people betted heavy on ManU and later all went into the drain. It seemed that the Spanish lions came, roared and tammed the english pussies.....

This is called a might fall.....

Time and moment

For my sweetheart. I know I am miles away...but I am always there with you.....you are my time and you are my moments........

i was travelling in time and space
to an unknown destination
gathering moments writing
the chronicles of my time
losing hope just as time
matching fate to it
but then....and then...i met some one
probably THE ONE
charming, fascinating
more than enchanting
that was it
my time and moments frozen for it
searching for the warmth in it

but i reliased that i made a mistake to search
the moment was you and the time was you
the time and the moment got melt down
you were no where to be there

i was broken down to the pieces
the time and the moment were just a imagination to me
i searched you here
i searched you there
then i realised how i far i came
more than i can come back

i asked him
i asked them
i forgot to ask the inner being
you were part of me
i thought i wasted the time and moments
but it was really worth of it
i knew the true meaning of you.
this is how much i love you
you are worth of time and moments of the chronicles of my life.........